All We'd Ever Need
by zizza24
Summary: One small mistake leads to Ziva's regret and Tony's departure, but when he finally returns, she is determined to make things right.
1. Chapter 1

She sat staring at the clock, waiting for the numbers to change. As they switched from 3:24 to 3:25, she sighed. It was never supposed to be this way. She never wanted him to leave and as much as she told herself it wasn't true, she knew she was the reason he was gone. He was somewhere in the beautiful city of Los Angeles, most likely with another girl in his bed and she was stuck here, alone, in her empty apartment in Washington DC. She never should have doubted his feelings and she should have listened to him. But there was nothing she could do now, except go on as if nothing had happened. No one at work knew what was going on. Everyone, including Gibbs, was under the impression Tony truly had left for LA because of family. He told everyone he was going to see his father and he would be back within a month. But Ziva knew. She knew he was in LA to blow off steam. He was there to try and get over her, like she had claimed she had done over three weeks ago. _He will be back soon, _she thought to herself, _and you can fix everything then. _But that wasn't good enough for her. She needed things fixed now. She needed to know things were going to be okay and she knew he was the only one who could help. She grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contacts, landing on his name. She hesitated; trying to figure out what time it was in California. She knew he would be awake but didn't know if he would answer. She sat with her phone open for what seemed like hours when she finally decided to close her phone and set it back on the table, her eyes falling back on the bright red numbers of the clock.

The next thing she knew, that same clock was shrieking at her, and the time read 8:45.

xxxxxx

He tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position to lie in. It was his last night in this Los Angeles hotel room and he was certain the hurting would have stopped by now. But as he lay, motionless, in this bed, he could still feel the pain in his heart, the pain that _she _had left. He never should have told her, he should have kept it to himself like he had for the last 4 years. He turned onto his side and grabbed his phone, flipping it open. He smiled as his eyes were met with a picture of her face, a picture he had snuck almost 3 and a half months ago. _3 and a half months ago, _he thought_. _That was when they were happy, when they were simply friends. Before any of their confessions had happened. Before either of them had decided it was all too much. He mentally cursed himself for saying so much, for admitting so much to her that night, that cold, rainy night in June. They had returned to his apartment after their usual Thursday night dinner and were preparing to watch a movie, just as they always did. But what happened after that was a blur. He remembered telling her he wanted to be with her, and not just for that night. He remembered the look on her face when she realized he was being serious. He remembered the way he felt as he watched her leave his apartment, the movie far from being over. The next few weeks at work were a blur as well. They barely talked at work, their dinner "dates" became scarce and she rarely ever joined him for movie nights anymore. Suddenly, they were only crossing paths at work and even that was a stretch.

As uncharacteristic as it sounded, he missed her, but he was in no rush to get back to town at the moment, and he had no idea why.

xxxxxx

She rubbed at her eyes, her whole body tired from the lack of sleep she had been getting lately. As her feet padded on the carpet that led down the hallway, she yawned and rubbed the back of her neck, trying to wake herself up. As she stepped into the bathroom, she stood in front of the mirror and quickly pulled her hair off her neck and tied it behind her head with a ponytail. She took a step back and tried to look at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, there were bags under her eyes and her cheeks were red. She pulled her favorite shirt, _his _shirt, over her head and let it fall to a pile on the floor, standing there in just boxer shorts. She turned the nozzle on the bath tub and watched as the warm water ran from the shower head. She threw the rest of her outfit on top of the shirt and climbed in, letting the hot water run over her entire body. As she let the water run over her face, her entire body felt as if it was going to break at any moment. She had never felt this way before, not after losing Ari or Michael, not even after leaving Tel Aviv and cutting all ties to her family. Why did she feel so lost without Tony around? As she turned off the water and wrapped a towel around her aching body, she stepped out of the shower and jumped when her phone started to ring. She felt a bit of excitement until she read the caller id bar.

"Good morning, McGee."

"Ziva, I was calling to see if you wanted to meet Abby and I for coffee this morning."

Ziva smiled as she wiped the steam away from the mirror, looking at her own reflection again. Even after just a quick shower, she looked different. Her hair was wavy again, her face looked rejuvenated and the smile she was wearing was a sight for sore eyes. "Of course McGee. I will be there in 20 minutes." She snapped her phone shut and left the bathroom, the smile still on her face. Because in that moment, she knew she would be okay.

xxxxxx

"We're going to miss you, Mr. DiNozzo."

Tony smiled as he pulled his credit card from his wallet. "Amy, I told you to call me Tony. Mr. DiNozzo is my father."

Amy, the receptionist Tony had grown to know over the last month, laughed as she pressed a few buttons on her keyboard. "So are you ready to return to DC?" she asked.

"It's a mutual feeling at the moment. I will say I am going to miss the everyday sunshine though. We don't get that on the East Coast."

Amy handed his credit card back and reached over to grab his receipt. "Well you are always welcome back here. Have a safe flight, Tony."

He took his receipt and shoved it into his bags before walking away. He walked out the double glass doors and looked for the cab he had called. He quietly loaded his bags into the trunk and slid into the backseat, the sun beating down even at 7:15 in the morning. The entire car ride blended together, Tony not remembering anything until he took his seat on the plane. It wasn't until he put his headphones in and leaned his head back against his chair that he realized there were butterflies in his stomach, something he hadn't felt since the first night they had been together. And he was suddenly very nervous about returning to Washington.


	2. Chapter 2

"So when is Tony coming home?"

Ziva coughed as she was taking a sip of her latte, drawing attention from both McGee and Abby. "His flight gets in at 11:30 this morning," McGee said. And then, Ziva felt a wave of sadness come over her. She was going to have to face him soon enough. But what was she going to say?

"McGee, do you know if he is going to the office or back to his apartment?" Ziva asked.

McGee shrugged. "I assume his apartment. He does have a meeting with Gibbs tomorrow morning, though."

"About what?" Abby asked.

"I guess Gibbs has a special assignment set up for him. He might be going to New York City for a few days."

"Alone?" Ziva asked, again drawing attention.

Abby leaned a little closer to Ziva. "Ziva, is there something going on?"

She wondered if she could explain, if they would even understand. Sure, they had their own romance in the beginning, but it was nothing like she had with Tony, she was sure of it. Hell, even she wasn't really sure what she had with Tony at this point.

But she needed to find out.

"No Abby, everything is fine." Abby stared at Ziva with a puzzled look on her face, but Ziva avoided her at every cost. "I promise!"

Abby gave her one more concerned look before taking another sip of her iced mocha. "I'm not sure if I believe you or not. But I'll let it go." Ziva gave her a smile and Abby smiled back, but underneath Ziva's smile, she was trying to figure out how to approach Tony once he was home.

xxxxx

"Thank you, sir."

Tony smiled as he handed the cab driver a $20 bill and exited the car, his luggage in hand. Carl, the usual doorman for his building, held the door open, a large smile on his face. "Good morning, Carl. How have you been?"

"Great, Tony. We've missed you around here, it's been too quiet."

Tony let out a low laugh and said, "Well, I am back for the time being, so let the fun begin." He walked past Carl and stood in front of an elevator, pressing the button to call it from the 7th floor. As the doors slid open, he piled in, the car completely empty. He sighed, wondering what his co-workers were doing at the moment as the doors slid open to the fifth floor. He slowly walked down the hall and dropped the bag in his right hand, searching his pocket for his apartment keys. As he removed the keys and placed them in the lock, he swung the door open and grabbed his last bag, walking into the apartment. He looked around and noticed everything was as he left it, except the newest addition to his couch.

"How was your trip?"

He wanted to smile. He wanted to drop all of his bags and run over to her, sweep her off her feet and kiss her. He wanted to swing her around and never let her leave again. "It was good. Kind of hot, but definitely needed. Did I miss anything?"

She kept her position on the couch, her head angled down at the floor. She was too afraid to lock eyes with him, because she didn't want him to see the fear she had been holding inside since she stepped on the elevator just 30 minutes ago. "Not much. Gibbs has been awaiting your arrival, along with Abby. It's been very quiet around here."

Tony set his bags down near the front door and headed to the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water from the bottom shelf. "Ziva, what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you."

"Really? Because I was sure you had said everything I needed to hear the last time we were in this apartment. Or were you holding back then because you didn't want to hurt my feelings?" Ziva sighed and lifted her head, now staring at the ceiling. "You know what? Let's talk. But I get to go first." Tony took a long swig of his water before replacing the cap and walking back into the living room, pacing as he talked. "I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay here and figure things out with you. But leaving for Los Angeles, it seemed like a better idea. I didn't have to worry about pissing you off or saying the wrong thing. I could just enjoy the sun and sand by myself. But while I was in LA, I started to think. Those long nights when I would sit on the balcony of my hotel room by myself with a six-pack under the stars, I started to picture you there with me. I imagined us drinking together, telling stories of our youth, although your stories were always better than mine. We would make each other laugh and we would piss each other off, but we didn't care because we were together."

Ziva stood up. "Tony, what I said, I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did. And the funny thing is, I never thought you could hurt me, at least not emotionally. But on my flights, I realized just how much you did hurt me. Ziva, I never would have cared if you never felt the same way I did. I never would have cared if you couldn't repay those feelings. The only thing I cared about was you knowing how I felt." He finally walked over to her and stood facing her. "I wanted you to know everything that I was feeling. I just never thought you would throw it back in my face."

"Tony, I did not want to throw it back in your face." She couldn't keep her eyes locked on his. They wandered from his face to the floor to over his shoulder and back. "The words that you were saying, the feelings I was having, I didn't know what to do with them. I knew the right thing would have been to tell you I was feeling the same way, but I froze. I did not want to make myself vulnerable."

Tony placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head so their eyes were on each other. "Why not?"

Ziva's eyes shifted down and Tony sighed, frustrated she wouldn't keep eye contact. "Because the moment you told me how you felt was the moment I realized that I too really and truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with you as well." She finally met his eyes, the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. "But now it is too late." And with her final words, she pressed a soft kiss to his left cheek and grabbed her coat and purse before leaving, before the tears fell.

She reached her car and just sat in the front seat, the sobbing taking control of her entire body. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and she could barely even see through the waterworks. She had convinced herself right after Tony had left that there was no way things could get any worse. However, as she placed the key in the ignition and started to drive down the road towards her own apartment, she was realizing that she was very wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ziva, this smells delicious."

Ziva smiled as she poured a glass of wine for Abby and one for herself. "Thank you. It's a new recipe I found online the other day and thought it would be perfect for one of our dinners." Ziva took a sip of the wine and then stared down at the table and Abby knew something was wrong.

Abby placed her hand over her best friend's and asked, "What's wrong? Did something happen with Tony?"

"Yes, but it was before he left." Ziva took another sip of her wine, fully able to feel the stare Abby was giving her. She met her eyes, which were yelling loud and clear, _Do I need to continue asking? _ "Abby, it is a very long story."

Abby smiled. "I have nowhere to be. Now spill. And I want every little detail. I'm a big girl; I can handle it."

Ziva inhaled and then let out a long, deep breath before explaining everything to Abby. She really had no reason to keep it all from her anymore. And if she was being honest, it would have been much easier if she had someone to talk to about it all and to have an opinion from. She finished giving every last detail and noticed that she had started crying at some point during her story. "I have ruined everything I wanted and now I have no idea how to fix it."

Abby opened her mouth, ready to tell Ziva everything was going to be okay, when they both jumped in their seats as the front door to Ziva's apartment flew open.

"What the hell do you mean it's too late?"

Within seconds, Tony had moved from the doorway to in front of the small dining room table he had enjoyed many meals at himself within the previous months. "Hey Abbs," he said as he acknowledged her presence, but he immediately turned back to the other woman that occupied the table. "What did you mean when you said it was too late?"

"Tony, can we talk about this somewhere else?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't care if Abby hears this. Hell, I don't care if the entire world hears this. I just want to know why you are giving up. Is it because I left? Do you think I left because I didn't care about you anymore, that it was all an act?" She shook her head slowly. "Then why? Why did you give up on us so quickly?"

"Because I had broken your heart. And I didn't want to risk doing it again."

Tony let out a nervous laugh. "I don't want you to put my feelings first. I want to know how you feel."

Ziva and Tony stared at each other in silence and Abby tried not to intrude, her plan ruined when her phone chimed from inside her bag across the room. She stood up and scurried across the auburn-colored dining room, quickly reaching into her bag and fishing out her phone. "Hello? No, McGee I can't talk right now. Sure, I'll meet you in 10. Bye." Abby closed her phone and looked up at her friends, who were still staring at each other. She didn't say anything but instead grabbed her bag and walked out the front door, knowing she would hear all about this at work the next morning.

"Ziva, tell me how you feel."

She took a deep breath as Tony took Abby's seat, now directly in front of Ziva. "I want things back to the way they were. I want my best friend back."

Tony smiled. "You never lost him."

"It certainly feels like it. Tony, the first night you were in California, I felt lost. It was a Wednesday night, our usual movie and junk food night. And as I sat on that couch, watching _A Few Good Men _for the millionth time and eating a bag of Skittles, I broke down. I never wanted you to leave. The things I said at your apartment, I wanted you to fight me on them. I needed you to fight it. And when you just let me walk out, I knew it would never be the same."

He placed his left hand on her right and he could feel her shaking slightly. "You have no idea how hard it was that night I watched you walk away. Ziva, I wanted to fight; I wanted to make you realize that I needed you in my life."

"You don't need me."

"But I do. I tried imagining my life without you in it, without me spending every night with you and I couldn't." He took a deep breath before he continued. "I need to know I have someone to lean on. Ziva, I have never trusted a woman in my entire life as much as I trust you. I just, I don't want to go on if things are never going to be the same."

Ziva found herself speechless. She wanted things to be the same. To be completely honest, she wanted things to be better than they were before. She wanted to be able to come home from work and curl up on the couch with Tony, a bowl of popcorn between them as they watched an old black and white film that she would never fully understand. She smiled at the thought, and realized she didn't want to go on without him in her life either. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

He smiled. "Well I was planning on meeting Magoo for a late night latte but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I cancelled. What'd you have in mind?"

xxxxxx

"Go fish, Agent David."

Ziva drew a card from the deck that was set in the middle of the floor. She held 7 cards in her hand as Tony asked, "Do you have any twos?" She sighed as she handed over three cards. "You are absolutely terrible at this game."

"Shut up. Do you have any queens?"

Tony shook his head. "Go fish," he said with a smirk as Ziva picked up yet another card. "Do you have any sixes?" She handed him one card and he laid the rest of his hand down, a giant child-like grin stretched across his face. "I win."

Ziva put her cards down, the feeling of defeat sweeping over her. "I refuse to play games with you anymore."

"Now that is no fun. I promise, one of these days I might actually let you win." A small smile crept onto Ziva's face as she gathered the cards together. Tony missed that smile, and he missed the glow it brought to her face too. He leaned across the now empty space on the floor, pulling Ziva closer to him, close enough for their lips to touch. He pressed his lips to hers, the taste of red wine still present. He could feel her entire body relax as he put his hand on her cheek, the heat radiating from her skin. He smiled as she pulled away, her lips looking swollen. "I love you, Ziva."

He knew he was taking a huge step. The last time he had told her that, she walked out on him and he was on the next flight out west. But there was something inside of him and something in her eyes that forced him to say it again, regardless of the outcome. He was nervous, but he was prepared for whatever might come from her mouth.

But when she looked up at him with a small, genuine smile on her face, he knew he wasn't losing her.

"I love you too, Tony."

He had been waiting over 6 years to hear her say that. He never believed he could fall for her. She wasn't his type. She wasn't the person Tony had pictured himself growing old with. But after 6 years of working together, learning each other's secrets, spending every waking moment together, sometimes in close quarters, feelings had developed and he couldn't walk away from them. She stood by his side when his undercover mission blew up in his face and he lost the one woman he actually had pictured growing old with. She let him back in even after he killed Michael. He risked his life to save her in Somalia because he truly could not live without her.

He leaned forward and kissed her again, neither of their smiles fading. He slowly laid her on the floor, their lips never parting as his fingers got tangled in her long waves. Her fingers tugged at the bottom of his shirt as his kisses moved down her neck. "I take it you are staying over tonight," she said as Tony stopped kissing her and leaned over her, his hands propping him up on both sides.

"Actually, I was still planning on meeting McGee."

They both laughed as Ziva grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, their lips crashing together again. Ziva began to raise Tony's shirt towards his head when a cell phone began to ring, followed closely by another. They both groaned as they scrambled for their phones and flipped them open.

"DiNozzo."

"David."

They stared at each other as they listened to McGee and Gibbs. As they both flipped their phones shut, Ziva said, "Looks like you get to spend the night with McGee after all."

Tony laughed. "Are you jealous?"

"No. Because I get you for life. And that is all I need." Tony smiled as Ziva kissed him one more before they grabbed their things and left, ready to return to their jobs once again.


End file.
